Sunday, September 18, 2016

Trying to Get Fit - Week 12

Weight - 149.2

So, I lost a pound again! Ha! Though, I didn't really work out at all this week so I'm surprised. But I haven't been eating out much except for maybe Sunday and Monday.
I was out of town both of those days so I had to eat what I could grab. I remember Sunday night as I arrived, my sister had made queso so I just had some nachos. They were really good! And I think Monday I missed breakfast because my Mom had her procedure and by the time she got out, it was already lunch time. So, I had KFC for breakfast/lunch. I skipped breakfast on Thursday by accident too. I slept for awhile and before I knew it, it was lunch time. I hope that didn't contribute but I really don't think it did.
I've heard that if you skip meals, and then eat your body grabs on to those calories and it makes it much harder to lose weight. There's another reason I'm surprised.

There's been so much going on, and I'm a bit stressed. Some money issues here and there and trying to not be lazy and get things done.
Today hasn't been to bad with it, as I've already got the BBQ ribs cooking as well at the Pumpkin Cranberry bread I'm making for tonight for the Mabon festival. The BBQ ribs are for me though. My laundry is already done to so that's nice and as I'm making this post, it's a little after 2PM. Adulting!!

For those that know me, adulting is a very difficult thing for me to do. As it is with most of the people I surround myself with. We all whine and complain that it is very difficult. I wonder if our parents thought the same.
It's really the prioritizing and budgeting thing that gets me, as well as time management. I have a lot of Dailies on Habitica now that it's almost overwhelming but there are things that are good for my health.



















The first 4 are relativity easy. The Write In Journal and EFT ones are new. The Brush Teeth Night has been there for a long time, and I am really bad at doing it. It's a habit I never had as a kid, and doing it now as an adult is really weird for me, even though I know it's good for me.
I'm in a party now on Habitica, and it's helping me be more accountable for myself. It's not a good idea to skip on Dailies if you're in a quest with a boss because the boss can hurt you pretty bad I think. It affects the other characters as well.
The EFT and Write in Journal thing are a bit hard for me too. I never really take time out of my day to write, and I think that would be good for me to do and vent out any frustrations I may have. The EFT is especially good for me. I've read that a lot of people refer to it that it makes them feel lighter, and I want to feel lighter too.

There's a Mabon celebration tonight. I'm really excited to see my Pagan friends again! It's been awhile now I think. There's usually a Dark Moon Ritual once a month there but I'm always working. I really want to earlier shift so I can do things I need to do at night. Mostly for these things, but luckily the Sabbat Rituals are always on a Sunday from what I can remember.

Well, I have a little bit of time before then, so I will end this blog post now.
Let's hope for a great check-in next week!

-Suzie

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Trying to Get Fit - Week 11

Weight - 150.8


So, it's Week 11. I've been trying to do this for about 2 months now.
It would seem that blogging consistently is a hell of a lot easier than actually doing it.
I'm not sure what it is, but it's really difficult to do.
Also, my sleep routine is entirely messed up. I'm not going to bed at the correct time because I get distracted by other things. I'm not taking care of myself on that aspect at all. That's on me.
Haven't been working out either. I think I did 2 weeks of it these 2 months but then I stopped. I'm not really sure why to be honest. Really, as much as I want to be independent, I could use some encouragement from others.

I saw my therapist however last week, and she's given me some things to read and study. They're quiet helpful. So far I've read the chapter and it's given me a lot of insight.
There's this thing called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which is done by tapping on certain spots of your face and upper body that is supposed to help you feel lighter and more free (obviously). She says that if I want to feel better, I need to do.
So, I've added it to my Dailies on Habitica. Hopefully it'll get me more motivated.
As for what she's given me, it's quiet a nice read. I'm also considering buying the book she told me. The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman's Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More by Jessica Ortner. It seems as it will work. I just have to get this tapping stuff done. 

Let's hope that in a month, I've lost about maybe 5 pounds?
I'm trying to kill my cravings too, and this chapter from a different book is helping. The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living by Nick Ortner is the one I believe. There's a chapter on Weight Loss. Studying it, I've been able to pinpoint issues. The way to start tapping is by using this tree. My therapist has kind of helped me understand how to use it and it's helpful. 
She's been on me about this for awhile now. She says I need to do it. So I must.

On another level, I'm trying to get my room decorated and looking pretty, or more home-like. I'm very bad at it. However, I've been on Pintrest quiet a lot trying to get ideas on my room and such. I'm really excited about it. Even printed out a paper of my room to get an idea of how things will look one day once I get it all situated. I just have a lot to do!
Maybe when it's complete, I'll post a picture.

That's all for now.

-Suzie

Monday, September 5, 2016

Trying to Get Fit - Week 9 & Week 10

Weight - Week 9 - 150.6
Weight - Week 10 - 149.4

So, last week kind of sucked. I went through this crazy emotional roller coaster, and throughout that week and gorged myself of crappy food. Surprisingly enough, I lost weight! I didn't actually work out at all during week 10 honestly.

Week 9 was okay, I can't really remember a lot of it at this point unfortunately. Though that week I was focusing on getting my internal clock reset so I can go to bed early, and wake up early for work outs and not be so tired!
Luckily it's worked! My body starts to feel super sleepy at a certain time and then it's time for bed! Then wakes up at 7! Well, around 7 anyways but it counts!
I'm happy for that.

Week 10 again, was a hard one. My depression and anxiety hit me pretty hard at the beginning of the week. I got a large pizza on Sunday with that Hershey cookie pizza pie thing, and a Dr. Pepper for my Kraken. I stayed in bed for about 3 days and didn't do much of anything.
I really hate that depression got me that way, but I'm working on it.
Personally, I don't really care for anti-depressants, the pills. I've talked to a friend who knows a thing or two about herbs and he suggested me to take St. Johns Wort. If I try and exercise again, I'm told it will help a ton too. My therapist has also told me that but I still struggle with getting up at taking care of it.

I'm hoping this week will be better.

There's not much to talk about unfortunately, but I am glad that I lost a pound! WHOO!

Oh, as far as my challenges go that I've been doing, I've kind of fallen off of them, and I'm kind of going by the days I've missed. According to them, I should be on -this- day, but I'm really not.
Should I start over or just continue? I'm not sure.

Much more to talk about next week I hope! I gotta keep on truckin'!!

-Suzie

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Trying to Get Fit - Week 8

Weight - 150.6

Still at the same weight since a few weeks ago. I'm not exercising enough it seems. This week, I think I only worked out once. I really don't know where my routine is going but I think I'm going to start pushing for 5 days now. Maybe I'll have better luck than 3.
I seem to make myself busy or put too much on my schedule with no wiggle room.
Also, I think it's because I'm so conditioned into just sitting around and doing nothing. It takes me awhile to get out of bed as well. About a good 30 minutes or an hour, and my alarm goes off at 7:55am. Out of routine I check my phone. I have been reading to stop having it on and not use it as an alarm. I have this little cheap one I bought from IKEA awhile back that I only used once. Maybe I should get back into using it. I just need batteries.....I don't know if I have any.

Yesterday I got out of work 3 hours earlier than normal. I think we were actually overstaffed on a Saturday which was new.
With all the extra time I had, I did a few tasks. One that was very important was cleaning out my pantry. For The Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge, one was to make over your pantry, and come up with a game plan if you're tempted by sweets.
My makeover went well. I threw away a lot of things I don't use, need or had expired. All of my sweets are gone, even the Nutella (Roomie happily took that!). My pantry actually looks a lot better now. I also used my grocery app on my phone to help organize my pantry so I can be aware of what I have. I'm already using it well and to the fullest. Usually I would just make a grocery list and that would be that. Now I'm able to figure out what I'm low on, and I can even move it to the shopping list when needed and it makes it a breeze! Doing that yesterday is absolutely going to make my life a lot easier! Not that life is too hectic, though it does feel like it, but every little bit helps!
Onto The Game Plan! It's pretty easy. Any time that I'm craving sweets, I take a deep breath, and I eat a piece of fruit that's available to me. I need to start taking some with me to work because we have a vending machine that is packed with sweets! So many temptations, but I've only fell off the wagon once!! I'm very proud of myself.
Today I need to figure out a way to reward myself any time a craving hits me and I manage to resist. Trust me, it's happened a lot!
Being a Lokean and trying to resist sweets is not on easy task! When you're deity enjoys all the sweets the world can offer (especially when you share a love of Rolos), it makes it just a bit difficult. There are still Tim Tams on His altar that I haven't cleaned up yet but I'm not sure what to do about it. It's a waste to throw it away. I got to figure this out.

The other Challenge is pretty easy. Some things have no been that hard. One day Challenge was to change from soda to water. For anyone who knows me, you know I'm religiously drinking water. I do everything I can to get my 8 a day. Today was about snacking healthy. Which is not a terrible transition for me either. I have lots of fruit in the fridge, and all of my bad snacks are gone.

I seem to be getting the hang of all of this on the diet spectrum, but the hardest part seems to be the exercise part. I'm not really sure why. Last I spoke with my therapist, she would tell me to say "I struggle to get out and up" instead of "I can't get out of bed!". I'm not sure how well it's working.
However, I have added working out at my job while at my desk as a thing, so I'm counting it! It's a little difficult though because we have to take notes of our calls that is a tech support issue. I'm having a hard time sticking with that too because I'm absolutely not used to it. My favorite move so far is the side bends. You move to each side and it feels like I'm working my belly fat which is lovely! I just need to incorprate it more in my every day thing. I'm also trying to stand more when not at work. People wonder why I stand so much. I sit at a desk for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, even my butt gets tired!!

Let's hope for a better week!

-Suzie

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Trying to Get Fit - Week 7

Weight - 150.6

Well, I didn't lose a pound, but I didn't gain one either!
I count that as a very tiny victory, and a sigh of relief. Sometimes the scale scares me. My Saturdays are usually started with an anxious feeling when I get up, because I know that I have to get on the scale and it's going to tell me if I did good this week.
However, that's changed a little bit. Even though it is helping me mark my progress, I'm going to try and start a bit of a new this week, and hopefully moving forward.
I'll still be tracking my weight, but instead of being bogged down by it, I'll just shrug and mark. I won't sigh or anything, but if I do lose, I will dance. It's an important factor to me, but I don't want it to rule my emotions too much.

On Week 5, I had mentioned a Sweet Tooth Challenge.
I had to restart that challenge because I was too busy to do the tasks ahead of me. I started it again a few days ago, and am on Day 3, but still struggling with Day 2, even though it has passed.
Day 2 is only consisting of journaling what causes my cravings. It shouldn't be that hard, right? I guess because I've been so busy and tired, it has been a little bit of a harder task.
Day 3 wasn't so difficult. All I had to do was find a friend to support me. I knew who to ask, and they have graciously accepted to help me in this. I still have some Oreos, Nutella and ice cream in here. I'm considering getting rid of it, though I think getting rid of the Nutella will make me cry.
I just have to keep myself in check for 18 more days. I've bought apples which have natural suigar, and I have some plums, peaches, grapes, mangos and baby carrots to keep me occupied. Let's just hope I don't go back on the sugar binge.

I also started another challenge on Sparkpeople. The 30-Day Small Changes Challenge. Pretty self-explanatory. 30 Days and making small changes. I posted on my Instagram today a healthy snack I had today. Grapes, crackers and cheese. Usually I'd go for chips, but today was not that day! Well, I could have had the pita chips, which I believe to be the healthier option but I decided against it.
With this Challenge, I am also on Day 3 which consistes of having a healhy breakfast. I had Honey Bunches of Oats and some milk, with a side of coffee with creamer. I'm counting that for sure. The coffee was probably not the best idea but I needed a bit of a pick me up. Plus, coffee hasn't been revving me up much lately so it's almost useless and probably needs to because a treat rather than a daily thing.
Still trying to find some natural caffeine.

Good news, I did manage to do 3 days of exercise this week, and at least 1 day of strength training. I need to do those more often, but I feel good. I also did 10 minutes of cardio today while watching T.V. It was a little weird, but it was nice and I felt energized.

Did a lot of chores this Sunday. Grocery shopping, laundry (clothes, towels and sheets), and I cooked two meals. One which is currently in the oven. Late dinner but I also had a late lunch. Though, my body is used to both with my work shifts. I'm hoping one day I can work earlier shifts. We'll see!

I'm hoping for a 2 lb loss next week. Keep your fingers crossed!

-Suzie

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Trying to get Fit - Week 6 - I'm getting a hold of it there!

Weight - 150.6

I'm patting myself on the back! It's not much, but I did manage to work out twice this past week!
I also went to a concert that required a lot of walking in this Texas heat, so I think that helped as well to lose at least a pound. I'm counting it as a victory!
Even the smallest ones are, yes?

I did, however, eat a lot of crap food. Lots of fast food, and nachos.
Another thing I have to work on is tracking my food actually. A lot of the stuff I eat isn't already in the tracker so it's a guessing game some times but I did add the recipes of the food I make from Budget Bytes. A lot of what I've made is amazing and I have a private Pintrest menu to keep me organized on what I'm buying and making.
I don't think I've cook in almost a week though and I really should at some point today. Maybe for dinner, as I'll be hanging out with a friend so I'll likely be eating lunch out.

I'll be making Mango Coconut Tofu Bowls. I'm not a big fan of Coconut, so I'm a bit nervous of trying it out but it's healthy as far as I can see.
I'll also be making meatloaf some time this week, but it's not what you think! It's tasty and it's my mother's recipe. I usually have to sit down and keep myself entertained when I'm having to crush the saltine crackers and I just had a silly thought! I have a food processor! Why have I not used that so I cut down the time!?
I'm not sure if it'll work, but I'm sure going to try. Having to sit there doing that about an hour or so before I'm actually going to cook is a bit annoying. My Mom did it though! She had rare appliances. Or if she did, she barely used them. I think the blender I have is actually hers that I didn't even know was ever in her kitchen. The only one that was ever used was the microwave.

Me, I have a rice cooker, a microwave, a food processor and a blender. All which I use at some point that do not go unnoticed. The rice cooker is also a food steamer and, if I wanted to, I could use it to actually make meals. I think the rice bucket is actually for that but I don't remember. I bought it about a year or two ago I think and it's holding strong!

How did I get started on talking about kitchen appliances?

Well, this week I'm going to try for one more day of working out, and adding strength training to my routine and get the muscles coming in as well!
My roommate has been doing amazing with hers and is getting some wonderful definition in her arms! I'm so proud of her!

I need to fit in three days this week at the very least, and at the most, five, but it seems as I'm trying to do this, I'm getting busy with social things, which is a nice change from being home all the time so I haven't got too much to complain about.
I think I'll be taking a picture next week and then when I lose about ten pounds, take another picture for progress.

Oh! A wonderful thing happened to me this morning! I was naked, and looking in the mirror, turned and said, "Not bad." I really don't know where this confidence is coming from that is happening but it's wonderful and it's making me very happy.
The end goal is to just get fit and healthy. My weight is more of a problem for my body and I have to take care of it. My family has all been overweight and has a myriad of health issues, and I need to do what I can to try and stay away from getting anything that I know I can prevent.
I gotta make a list and research at some point soon so I don't suffer the same. I do love my family though, because they're wonderful. (At least the ones I talk to but that's a private story.) I just don't want their health problems.

But I'll get there, I just have to push myself, but not too hard at first. Just enough.

Here's hoping for a pound or two next week!

-Suzie

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Trying to get Fit - Week 5

Weight - 151.8

I am still having the worst time with this.
I don't know what it is, and I cannot seem to find a root cause to save my life.

Well, this past week, I was terribly tired throughout most of it. I really couldn't get out of bed for anything. I slept through my alarm most mornings, refusing to get up.
I've also been getting random dizzy spells and I have no idea why, mostly throughout the week. I think I've just been tired without knowing it. I may not be taking such good care of myself as I have been trying to do.

A friend of mine told me that my dizzy spells could be coming from stress, and they do happen a lot when I'm at work, because work is very stressful. I know I got hit hard by one Saturday afternoon while taking some notes.

Today though, I slept for about twelve hours, on and off. I'm feeling very rested but my neck is hurting quiet a lot. I think I must have slept weird at some point. I'm not sure.

Tomorrow I'm doing an 8 to 5 shift, than my usual 11 to 8 because I swapped. I'm going to try and work out after work after running a few errands.
Tuesday, I'm going to a concert with my sister, so I'm going to try and get that in early.

I'm still not giving up. I'm going to start this damn thing at some point.

I started a challenge on Sparkpeople. It's called "Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge." I've been struggling with that too. Mostly because I don't go on every day, and sometimes I forget what tasks I have ahead of me. I have about 4 days to work on at once right now.
The Challenges when they first started them were a little weird, but they revised them and they have a calendar now that I think is available for download, or at least sharing.

So, I have two tasks ahead of me: Starting this damn thing for serious now, and the Sweet Tooth Challenge.

I have a few hours before bed, so I'm sure I can knock some of those things out.

Post up next week! Wish me luck!

-Suzie

"Do I got this? Heck yeah I do!"

Monday, July 25, 2016

I'm Sorry: A Letter to my Heart

I'm sorry for not protecting you.
I'm sorry for letting the mind wander and allowing us to believe in fantasies.
I'm sorry that I never built a wall around you.
I'm sorry for giving you away so freely.
I'm sorry for letting so many people hurt you.
I'm sorry for being so careless.
I'm sorry for not being strong enough for you.

I vow to change for you.
I vow to be stronger for you.
I vow to build a wall around you, protect you.
I vow to be more careful of those who can hold you.
I vow to love and respect you for as long as you beat inside me.
I vow to treasure you, as others should too.

You're my only heart. A special heart.

I'm sorry, but I vow to you.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Trying to Get Fit - Week 4 - No Progress but it's not going to end here...

Weight - 150.8

So I didn't get much done on my first month unfortunately.
I think the only thing I have been able to do is cook more at least. I haven't been eating junk food or going out as much which is good for my wallet.
Though I can't seem to stay away from sweets to save my life. There is this challenge on Sparkpeople that I tried to start once but unfortunately I never finished it and had to restart it a few times. It's called "The Sweet Tooth Challenge" and it's basically trying to stop your cravings (or calm them down) for sweets. I may need to look back into that but I'm not on Sparkepople very much like I used to be.

I'm going to try again this week. Going to try and work out. I got access to the gym in my new place now, and they have ellipticals which are my favorite machine to work out on. The access is 24 hours as well, so it will make things easy on me.
I really wish I had a different set of workout clothes tho. I may go shopping when I get paid this week. The shorts really get on my nerves because they slide down and when I pull them up...I feel like my butt cheeks are everywhere and no thanks.

I do have another set but I feel like it's more for winter, and I could use some new tennis shoes....
Now I'm rambling.

I'm only hoping that this week I can start it. I've been very good on bogging, because I'm usually terrible at it, but going good so far.

Now if only I could get my ass out of bed and work out...

-Suzie

Monday, July 18, 2016

Trying to get Fit - Week 3 - Still Struggling...but POKEMON GO!!!

Weight - 150.8

Still having a bit of trouble making this all very constant. I'm a bit proud of myself from last week though. I didn't track how much I walked but when I did, it was fun! Mostly playing Pokemon GO. I would go to this park after work for about 30 minutes to an hour and just walk, trying to catch Pokemon and go to the Pokestops.
This game is a blessing for me. I didn't play it much during the weekend though, Saturday I was exhausted and Sunday I was too busy to play.
I'm hoping to get back to it this week! I'm still at level 6 but having a difficult time choosing a team.
I'm almost level 7 though!

I had a difficult time this past week because it was literally hot as fuck in the apartment. Apparently the filter hadn't been changed in awhile, which caused the a/c not to work. It sucked. But once the filter was changed, COOL AIR! I was very happy.

I didn't get much in though, I think for maybe one day. I'm starting to think I want to start out slow instead of 5 days a week straight off. I feel like I need to work myself up to that mostly because I don't want to get out of bed all the time. But at the same time...I want to motivate myself to do the things. The thing: Exercising. It's week 3 and I haven't done much progress.
However, I'll count adding recipes of the food I'm making as something. Right now it's just adding in the movement instead of just eating, but I'll be able to count the calories a little more efficiently now.

I think that's all for now!

-Suzie

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Trying to get Fit - Week 2 - Therapy speak and cleaning

Weight: 151 lbs

Not a lot of progress on Week 2 unfortunately.

I'm a bit disappointed in myself but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself about it.

I saw my therapist on Thursday this past week and discussed how I want to lose weight but I can't seem to get out of bed.
She explained to me that one of the reasons I may be struggling is because I'm saying more, "I can't do this thing..." and should say, "I struggle to do this thing...."

So, it's really just changing what I say to send different energies to the universe.
At this point, it would be "I struggle to get out of bed.", which is indeed the case. As well as, "I struggle to work out."

I'll be trying to go to my therapist more often to work on things like this and some some other issues that I have.

This coming week, which will be week 3, I will be working on getting out of my struggle and actually getting my butt out of bed and doing something.

I cleaned my room today, and dis some productive things to make it look good. I still had boxes filled with things to but on a display/storage case I have. So, right now I'll have some room to work out for a time.
I'm still trying to get adjusted here at the new place, especially with my closet because it is a lot smaller than what I'm used to, and I plan on getting some shelving in there too because it's pretty stuffed.
That's all something for another time and another paycheck.

I hope to take a video of my room when it's all finished. Though, maybe now wouldn't be so bad but I hope I get to put up my posters soon.

Tomorrow is an new day, and tomorrow I'm going to try and work out. I'm going to do my best to get over my struggle!
Going to bed early tonight so I can get to it early tomorrow.

-Suzie

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Trying to get Fit - Week 1

Weight: 149.6

The first week, is the hardest week.

I was having the worst time getting out of bed and getting my sleep schedule re-cycled.
I haven't been tracking my food or exercising just yet.
There's still some things in my room that haven't gotten unpacked.

I really think the hardest part for me on doing this is motivation. Well, I do have motivation but, apparently not enough to get my ass out of bed when my alarm goes off.

I have a basic menu of food that I still haven't put up in Sparkpeople either.

I'm off early tomorrow and should probably get to that.

It's 4th of July, but there doesn't seem to be anything going on.
I could go to the lake and watch the fireworks, but last time it was really hard to do and no idea how the parking will be.
Downtown parking is hard.

I find myself still trying to settle in here in the new place.
There's so much stuff for me to get, like shelves and really settle in but I suppose that is for later.

Not much to say for this blog post considering that I am very sleepy and not much happened as it should have this week. I have to be a bit harder on myself to get things done!!

- Suzie

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Trying to get Fit - Week 0

Weight: 150.6
Measurements: Unknown

My goal weight is 110 pounds, hopefully to lose the weight by November of this year.

I just moved into my new place last week, and I'm still unpacking, and I have no idea where my tape measure went off to, so at this moment, I don't know what my measurements are.

This week was full of crap food, all microwave dinners and ramen mostly. All, very bad for me considering how high the sodium content is and the calories, let's not even go there.

I'm using Sparkpeople.com again to lose my weight. I've done it before, so I have a hard belief that I can do it again, I just have to stick to it.
I'm going to work out as much as possible, but to start, a low intensity. I'm not very fit right now, and with my age (30), I feel like my body is already starting to go, so it's time to get started.

Tomorrow it starts: I'll be getting up at 8am, work is at 11am. So, that should give me more than enough time to work out and shower.
One thing I know I have to cut out of my mornings is the computer use, because it's terribly distracting and that's what usually causes a slump here.

As for today, I have done so much work trying to unpack still, my room isn't as messy though, but it's just trying to find a place for everything at this point.
I have to cut down on the snacks, if they're not healthy anyways, and spend less time on my ass.

I have a few goals that I hope to reach by November at least:
1. Be able to bike to work
2. Take the stairs up to Mount Bonnell without losing my breath
3 Be fit (Obviously)

I'll be posting once a week with my progress on how things are going. I don't expect to lose any weight or even a whole bunch by the end of this week because I did not get the chance to cook, and still a lot of unpacking.
Ramen for dinner unfortunately and grocery shopping tomorrow.
I'm hoping to get some meals done.

Until next week!

-Suzie